"I love you." is what he said to her. But the words sounded white in her ears. Not red as in the dreams where she was with him. She was half insane with wanting something she had never seen or felt. Just an empty lie and a desire. Her lust had made her ugly. So ugly that she would never be able to have peace. Because what she wanted was twisting itself inside her until it could never exist outside.

(he was worthless. but she built him the graven image of a god inside her mind).

ok, so i'm bi. that's no big deal right?

anyway. my "ex", ((a guy)we went out for a few months but it started falling apart and we didn't feel the same anymore and we ended it in june.) so yeah, now I'm with someone else and I'm not really sure how it's going or what I feel or anything really. we're kinda more than friends but we havent said much about it. and we keep kinda falling out about silly little things because of not really wanting to talk about how we feel i think.

but now my ex, tim, has started talking to me and stuff again. and arugh. i don't know! he can be so so sweet and everything and sometimes I really do miss him and everything we had was so good at the time. but now i don't know what i want anymore.

i think i'm starting to fall for him again though. so i'm pushing him away and trying to ignore him. -_-


sigh. i don't know what to do.


apart from all that i've been halping my mother paint and redo the back room which she says i can have as a den or whatever and i can have a new sofa and a tv and the new computer in there. yey!

*smile*

things look better again, and I have my dog back! (she was staying with my grandparents)
it's cool just to have her around ^_^ .. that might sound a little lame , but I don't care :P

saw michelle today, she's going away to florida for a week with her family for a wedding.
so we spent some time together just talking and having fun... it was great.


huuum. all of these journals I write seem soooo pointless.


how're you?